Hello and welcome to Bits of Comedy. My name is Ryan Danger Sims and I think I am funny. What's that you say? Telling people you're funny is like telling people you are an artist - pretentious and a tad bit obnoxious. Well guess what you judgmental bastard, I'm an artist too.

Since I am new on the comedy scene, you may be worried that watching my stand-up act would be a waste of your time. Well, I am here to tell you that you couldn't not be more right (that's street for "you are dreadfully wrong in your assumption"). While I am new to stand-up, I do have some comedic credentials that should put your mind at ease. For example, sometimes when I say stuff people laugh, and my mom once told me I have a great sense of humor. So, if you go to one of my shows and don't think I am funny you're directly contradicting my mom (and I shouldn't have to tell you that is not cool).

I hope to see you at a performance in the future.